Sad Mommy

I decidid to take my little one to the mall today. You know, just to get out for a while and do a little people watching. I initially sat in the food court, but by the third dirty comment from unemployed old men, I thought I should head to the kiddie play area. So there I sat. Convincing myself that this was fun. I started to look around and see the number of "nuclear families" and wedding rings. I felt like a freak. A lonely freak. "Why dont I have that?" I thought "Why couldnt I have this?". Yes, I was the one who ended my realtionship ( it was soooo neccesary) but I stayed as long as I did because I genuinely wanted a family. Everyday I have to fight off loneliness ( ridiculous huh? I sleep with three other people and Im lonely). Do mommies get a second chance at love? Dont get me wrong the thought of a man trying to ask me out while Im pushing a double stroller and lugging a baby Bjorn is appauling! But one day? I mean come on lets be real this mommy stuff aint meant to be a one man show. I used to feel guilty for not being satisfied with the family I have. I mean hey, I've got adorable kids and they've got me (and frankly, Im AMAZING) so whats the problem? The problem is single moms are still women. Women with the desire for real companionship. Sadly, I have had to consider being alone forever. I mean all self-pity aside its hard enough to find love when you dont have three little kids and the ex from hell. 21 and prepairing to die alone. I know, Im a sick sick kid. But dont cry for me Argentina, If being an old maid is my destiny then I've got a plan: When you we were little kids and we got lonely what did we do? Make one up of course! Yep! The Imaginary Spouse*. Hell yea. No dirty underwear, he doesnt cheat, or hog the covers. Granted, he isnt much help with the kids or the bills, but TRUST ME Im used to that. I think I'll name him Frank....


* The Imaginary Spouse is not an idea to be taken seriously. I am not really insane, I just pretend to be for my own pleasure. Single mommies please: do not let me catch you holding hands with air