Oooo Mommy You let Yourself Go!

Dont cha just luv that shampoo commercial that reminds you that your a nappy-headed, dirty walking uterus. You know. The one that reminds you that you've let yourself go. Im sure they make some chicks want to by conditioner but it just makes me want to stand on a whobbly chair witha rope necklace. I freakin know I let myself go advertising bastards! Ya dont have to remind me in between shows on the happy box. You know what? As I ponder the concept of 'letting myself go' I realize that this means more than just hairy legs and the vomit-mustard combo on my shirt. Once one becomes s mother your constantly told the things you used to enjoy are not "something a mother should do". What the hell does that mean. Case in point. Mama loooooves piercings and tatoos. Since me and my other personalities couldnt decide on what kind of ink I should get I decided to pierce my tongue. Then baby number one arrives and the Punisher ( loud roar) is quick to tell me piercing are strictly a violation of the mommy dress code. And I listened! My whole life I took pride in being the asshole kid that never listened to my parents ( includung that crap about matches- what do they know anyway?) but this time I actually listened. Usually I would let something like this go (yeah right) but I realize that Ive done this crap B.C. (BEFORE CHILDREN) Ive always had sort of a more alternative sense of style. And while in high school I started dressing like everyone one else, talking like everyone else , smoking weed like everyone else ( oh wait that was my idea) just to fit in. Now that Im a tax paying, birthin beh behs adult, Im still doing the shit. What kind of black sheep am I? I think about my father (nickname pending). He is an obvious homosexual but he refuses to be himself because he is afraid of what people will think of him. I just knew that when my step-mother died a few years ago that he would finally get a cute boy toy that would be the Sugar in his Cane. But alas, we are still living a lie. Maybe him and I could be closer. Hell, Im a gay man on the inside, we'd have a lot to talk about. Anywho, thats not who I want to be. Dont get me wrong. I too worry about what others will say. Especially the Punisher. She aint one for keeping opinions to herself. (Note: Last year my hair was Hot Pink and she called my Grandmother, the Ear Piercer, for an intervention)I sat today looking at the Manic Panic hair dye website trying to guess which color would please the Freak in me and the Judgemental in my mother. Arent I an adult? I have every right to look like Red Fraggle if I please. I feel like Im being someone Im not. And me no likey! So fellow mamas screw volumizing shampoo, lets get back to who we are all the way. Im pretty sure you can be a good mom and a little edgy at the same time. Hair color and tattoos dont hurt the kiddies! Look at Cher! Her daughter grew up to be an intelligent, well rounded adult who married a nice girl. Im sure my boys will do the same.