Let me start this post with a disclaimer: Im a bitter ass. There you go. Lets move on. (Clearing throat for dramtic effect) MEN SUCK. hey I told ya. I just dont understand it seems like its a never ending battle between us and them. Even for those who sold their soul - I mean got married, there is just no winning with them. Yes, I can be a honest little girl and tell everyone that I am going through a break up ( Nobody puts Baby in a corner) but hear me out. It just seems to me that they hate us. I mean they like having sex with us, eating the meals we make, and not looking like a homosexual ( holler to the family! woop woop!) but im telling you lady friend he hates you.Ok tramp who thinks you have a perfect marriage, riddle me this... Has he ever tried to put 'nasty things' in your mouth, ear, hair etc? SEE! He hates you. ok ok ok. i know. Hate is a strong word (fyi I used it A LOT! if I didnt give birth to you there is a pretty good chance I think you suck) and Im sure your dude loves you even when your clothes are on and your talking about Greys Anatomy. That does not however squash your epic power struggle. Your stinkin love for each is merely lubrication for the days in and out you have to deal with his 'man crap'. No, women are not perfect either. I mean we want men to respect us as equals and treat us like princesses; be honest and tell us we dont look fat even when you look like Jiggles McEat Em Ups. So I guess we suck too.Well, relationships should have a system of checks and balances. Uh huh, so the next time he tries to do 'nasty things' again tell him " I'll only comply if you 'do me' tomorrow"
"DO ME" def-
I will go to work, come home and watch football/basketball or whatever homoerotic sport is in season while you...
Fix Breakfast half dressed
Drop the (crying) kids at school
Go to work not knowing there is puke on your shirt
Show strength and confidence without coming across as a bitch
Convince yourself the nachos you just ate fulfill your daily calcium requirements
Avoid the advances of a homeless man who somehow could afford a dog and gold tooth
Go back to work not knowing you have puke and nachos on your shirt
Try to sneak away early because the day care is convinced your kid has the ebola virus
Be called a really mean name by the lady in the next car (her days been pretty similar)
Fight the nachos that are coming back with a rengence
Pick up (crying kids) from school
Realize your covered in puke
Take three hungry/sleepy kids to the grocery store
Cook a meal
Notice your bra has reached its 18th hour
Type your report with one hand
Tuck kids in
Dont bathe
Colapse into bed
Have pretend your have a headache tonight
Thursday, April 30, 2009
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